Saturday, December 16, 2017

Child-Rearing without Stigma


The nice thing is that now that everybody knows I have always been trans, the kids and I have been having better bonding experiences and honest loving dialog. I have received some indirect feedback through the grapevine of those who speculate that me finally revealing my gender identity to the world is somehow negatively impacting my kids -- (Oh no! I guess being the father and primary care-giver to my own children since 2004 I completely forgot about them! ...seriously! give me a break - Have you read any of my posts? have you ever met me? Do you think I am the kind of person who does not wake every day stressing about my children, their education, their prospects and wanting them to grow and develop in a loving world? And doing what they can to make it loving? - Or that I ensure they have the best possible physical, mental health options available while still in these initial months of our shared Grief?) 

Xenia with her first born
photo by Krista
This speculation and judgment - without a dedicated effort to learn, is not an ethical value. If you don't live with us every day, I would at least hope that from my posts (which a mere fraction of 1% of my life) you would understand that the Sandstrom-McGuire values of Love is reflected by our open dialog, respect, honesty and strength in our being. We possess a strong sense of Justice, Compassion, and Perseverance. 



- Instead, the impression I get from these concerned individuals is that they are still mired in the unnecessary stigma of 'transgender' identity, if they go so far as to state they worry about it. They remain content with their self-righteous entitlement to speculate and make conclusions about the reality of diversity in our communities without any effort to get off their butts and inquire into first-hand experience, science-based, evidence-based, and peer-reviewed research into primary sources -- by and regarding -- vulnerable transgender adults, teenagers, children and even the prenatal development of a fetus.
By not doing the hard work of legitimate inquiry, they fail to demonstrate any concept of Universal Selfless Love.
I am so fortunate those close friends whom Krista and I have surrounded our family - the ones who actually do know us, continue to show care and respect. Because they know that the Stigma only exists if people continue to make it to exist. 
You too can learn what it is like to engage the world like a Sandstrom-McGuire by watching Krista in action and by reading my blog.



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